You Want to Play Hockey?

" Let's Get Ready To Rumble!", I've heard this every time I entered L.C.Walker Arena In Muskegon, MI. I can't tell you how many games I've watched, or how many times I've watched Robin Bouchard in action, but I can tell you I learned a lot from watching him play in the Muskegon Fury!

I've watched Robin Bouchard glide across the ice with a broken ankle, and a broken wrist bringing two Colonial Cups home for the Muskegon Fury back to back. I've seen him be slammed in to the side boards numerous times.  But what I learned from Robin Bouchard was never be a quitter when your team is counting on you. He always fought hard for his team, and picked himself back up every time. He focused on one goal, being the best team player he could be. It wasn't about the crowd, it was about who he was, and what he could do, achieving his record of 683 goals breaking the history record.

Did he think back when he was younger he could do this? I doubt it, he just kept playing, and practicing, learning the game, playing, and fighting. He always held his composure, and did become angry at times, when the defense held him back, and got in his way, but he only fought physically when someone started on him. 

Marriage and Relationships is a lot like Hockey. It's dirty at times, it's messy, and some times feels like hell. It can be stressful, aggravating, and probably one of the hardest tasks in our lives communicating, and living together. We may be slammed into the boards a million times. We may be high sticked in arguments, or cross checked.  We might have ice sprayed in our faces by our friends, family, and partner.  We might break our hearts over and over again.

If we don't learn to be a team player we won't function in the relationship, it will fall apart, and collapse. If it's not built as solid as ice, the ice will cave in and we will drown like we were skating and practicing on a back yard pond.  We aren't ready to play for the big leagues till we learn to get rid of our own personal agenda's, or not let our ego's get in the way. We have to learn to stop thinking of "Me". We need to start thinking about "We". It's not all about "Me" in a relationship,it's about "We".  "We" are the team together. We can either count on each other, or just forget the whole thing. 

We must learn to stop being stubborn, and insisting we have our own way. As a hockey player if every player decided to do what they wanted to, they would miss every pass of the puck, they would miss every goal, and in a fight, everyone would get hurt so they couldn't play anymore.  The eye always has to be on the puck no matter what player you are, as you glide along the ice and pass it to someone else. You have to know where you are going on the ice, and have clear decisive vision.

Someone gets in the way of your vision you run into the other player, or lose your balance.  You lose sight of where the puck is, and lost your place on the ice. You have to learn to steady yourself and keep your balance on a thin blade. You have to know how to move your feet, and not trip over yourself or another player. You must practice your moves, and learn to move in the right position. You must learn to become one with the ice, and stick. You must wear your protective gear over your face and body to prevent broken bones, or simply lose your teeth, or eye sight.

In a relationship we also must learn to keep our eye on our partner, see where they are going and where they are headed.  We have to learn to move with them, and be able to go in the same direction. We must learn to be in balance with them.  We must protect our relationship with the armor of God and prayer. 

We must protect our relationship from the opponents that stand in our way, and skate around them and leave them behind. If there are negative people in our lives those are opponents. They could care less if you succeed, and some times encourage it. We need to learn to surround ourselves with a defense with positive people that will uplift us and encourage us to succeed in our lives. Looking for role models that teach us to never give up.

There will be times when we feel like we are living in hell, and the fire melts the ice, but if  you are protecting each other and keeping your eye on your partner, than you can skate through the fire without being harmed.  You must learn the lessons, and look for teachers that will teach the right way to move and avoid the obstacles in the way. You might skate with a broken ankle like Robin Bouchard, or Broken Wrist. But you must keep going, even if the pain is severe, and you just want to give up and lay down and die.

You have to get back up again and start fighting back when some one throws you a blow, and not let it beat you up emotionally. You must stay true to yourself and have confidence you can over come any blow that life throws at you.  What are you capable of? Do you raise the bar and push yourself to achieve your all time best as a team player, or do you expect your partner to pick up all the slack.  The weight is heavy on one partner. There are two of you to carry the weight, and when both of you work together the load becomes lighter.  The puck becomes easier to shoot, and score.

When you have the opportunity to be your best together, is when you realise asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength. We weren't meant to be alone, or do things alone. Having a partner we should appreciate the fact we have someone that is our support and encouragement.

We have the choice to live in hell, and argue, fighting, bickering, or we can choose to live a little piece of heaven. We can choose to find positive ways to communicate and express ourselves, do more things together, share thoughts, and feelings, play the game the way it was meant to be played. Loving each other unconditionally, understanding that life will always bring us blows, or we might be slammed into the side boards, but as long as we never quit, than we learn to work better and stronger together, and become the champions we are, and never thought we would be.

We have to learn to love ourselves, and than we can love each other, look for the best in every opportunity, and rise above what the world teaches us to do, by walking away, and thinking that the next relationship will be better? If we haven't learned to skate in the last relationship, what makes you think we can in the next?  If we haven't learned to protect our relationship prior to the new one, how will we protect the next? If we haven't learned to work with our last team mate, how will we learn to work with the next?

You can either fall on your face over and over again in every relationship, or stand up and throw off your gloves and fight for a healthy relationship, and believe in your partner, that both of you can overcome your own issues, whether it be drugs, alcohol, addictions, finances, death, or illness. Life will throw you blows every time, every relationship. Only if you don't learn how to fight for it and stay in one place long enough you will never learn the lesson to never give up, and never be a quitter!