Why would I want to choose suicide?

 Often many people find themselves in a dark place, and no where to turn to for help. Suicide weighs heavily on their minds. Life becomes overwhelming with obstacles that seem to have piled up over time.

What is the root of suicide, living in a loveless world, where everyone thinks about themselves more than the person next to us. Most people feel alone and isolated from the rest of the world. Most of them feel like misfits, and that they are not welcome in the community, because so many people are focused on living in shadows of everyone else, living to meet the ideals of what their peers think, and meeting the approval of those that surround them.

Fortunately more people feel alone in this world and unloved than they will admit. They are searching for someone to notice them, and hear them as they stay in their silence and protected walls because so many people have hurt them since the day they were born. They have trusted their hearts with many friends, family members, and even spiritual leaders, only to find that most people just give up on them and walk away from them. If they are going through a lot of trauma most people don't want to hear about it, or look at it. They rather just push you to the side and pretend that life is a glorious place where only the trivial things in life should really matter like tonight's football game, or having that next beer, or going to a movie and relax and enjoy themselves.

People that contemplate suicide or not stupid people, and they are very gifted individuals. They are lawyers, accountants, students, nurses, doctors, and many other professionals, and walks of life. It doesn't matter if you have been born into a wealthy family, or a poor one, life comes hitting you hard in many different ways.  A bomb can be being raped by one of your best friends, a family member, or complete stranger. It can be losing your house, and losing your finances to survive in life.  It can be someone dying in your life that was very close to you. It can be because you got divorced, or as a young teen your parents hitting you, verbally, or emotionally abusing you. It can be your husband or wife using you as a punching bag physically, verbally, or emotionally.

Why would someone want to choose suicide? Well when you look at the world we live in, we are not loving ourselves or each other we are living a war everyday spiritually fighting to survive in our own homes, jobs, and churches. We are struggling to battle the pressures of our lives no matter who we are. How do we find worth in ourselves when others around us repeatedly tell us that we are worthless. How do we show people that they are worthless?

1. By ignoring what they have to say.

How many times do we choose to listen to a person? Do we listen or do we just keep talking and walk away and never really even give them a chance to express themselves. We assume we are always right and they are wrong. We assume that we should have the final word.  We feel that what ever we have to say is important, but some one else's words don't have the same value.  We some times don't even let them get a word in. We just talk right over them ignoring them all together.

2. We assume if someone is in trouble they will come to us. They will come to church on their own accord. They will call us if they have something important to say. They will just make the choice to get help.  Often this is not the case and some one in a suicidal mind set is not going to call you, or ask for your help. They won't get to church because most of the time the depression is so severe they can't get themselves out of bed, or in the car. If you are there they will get up and move, but if you're not they won't move. They don't have too.

3. We assume that someone suicidal is out of their mind. They aren't out of their mind, they just understand they are living in tough world where no one wants to show them love or respect. They've been beaten up and bruised many times verbally, emotionally, and spiritually by many people, and haven't met one that really genuinely cared about their existence.

4. We assume that a person that commits suicide wants to die. Yes in their minds they want to die because they can't stand living in a world that don't care about them. It is the most selfish thing to ever do and feel in a persons life. Yet people want to die, because everyone else is to selfish to understand the part they play in creating it. They don't want to die, they just want to be loved and told they are worth something. They want someone to believe in them.

5. Suicidal people need support from friends and relatives, but some times they don't even have that. All they have is themselves, and how do they stop hurting themselves if someone doesn't teach them how to stop hurting themselves. Who will teach them they are worth something if someone don't stop and take the time to listen to them, and help them face their fears of failure, and teach them to be successful. Who will teach them how to have confidence in themselves.

6. Recovering from suicidal thoughts is a hard journey and almost learning to walk again. You need support from someone you can trust that will hold you up out of the water that is swallowing you up. It is a lot like drowning, and if someone doesn't throw out that life preserver to hang on to they can't hold onto anything.

7. Most people are searching for a life line. This can be a counselor, spiritual teacher, teacher, friend, or family member.  When you throw that life preserver out most of the time those support people have to be tough enough to hold on to the line an not let is slip, or snap if you know someone is in trouble don't let that life line snap. You know they are in trouble, and if you are their life line than you have to understand if you stop believing in them, or give up on them it makes things even worse. They are counting on you and trusting you that you will help them find the resources needed. If the are finally getting the help than you need to participate and follow up with them to make sure they are continuing down that path to success. They won't get their alone or by themselves.

8. Suicidal people can not snap out of it in a hurry, it usually takes a year or two before they are stable and on their feet. They will have emotions that go up and down and they will go through a lot of changes in their thinking and thoughts about themselves and the world they live in.  It's not all in their mind, it's not always about them. Some times we are surrounded by unhealthy relationships and those influencing us have a big part in how we survive. If we have someone that is continuously telling us negative things about ourselves than we are always going to remain in that negative mind set. Some times letting go of everyone that is unhealthy for a time separates us from the negative environment, and finding positive influences that encourage us to feel good about ourselves makes all the difference.

9. Believing in an higher purpose or God is a must, without realising that their is a creator above us and he made us perfectly in his image, we fail to understand that even if people around us don't believe in us, or think we are worth something, God does.  Sometimes even Christians are suicidal, and it's not that they don't believe in God, but most people think that God can fix everything, and save us, and he can't. We can pray to God to make things better, but at the same time without his servants on the ground fighting his battle and helping out one another than nothing gets done.

10. Psychologists only focus on depression, and medicate the person, but most of the time they miss the root cause of it, and maybe if they do, fail to understand people were made to be loved, and often times if there is no love in the home or environment these people never heal and recover.  You can sit in a psychologists office and be heard, and given advice, but most psychologists don't teach the client how to survive. They don't give answers, they don't give solutions.

11. Most of the time everyone wants a suicidal person to figure out how to get out of it by themselves. Yes the answers are within the client, and most of the time it is from having family members and relationships all their life fill their minds with  negative thoughts and the person runs these thoughts over and over again in their head repeatedly beating themselves up, telling themselves they will never be good enough, or a failure, or they will never amount to anything. These people didn't come up with these thoughts on their own, they were programmed in their mind all their lives by those closest to them.

12. If you want to help someone not hurt themselves than stop hurting yourself as well. Most likely you are teaching them to hurt themselves because you have been taught that. Start changing yourself, your words, your thoughts, your way of interacting with them. Start looking at how you relate to them, and what kind of message you are sending them. Is it positive or negative. 

People who choose suicide didn't get their by themselves. They were born perfect and without blemish, society, family, community, friends, they all played a part in it, and it will take those same people to heal them and bring them back to self respect, honor, love, and self worth.

We as a whole of society need to start looking at what kind of messages we send in the media, write in our articles, magazines, books, TV shows, and what we teach to our families, children, and friends. I used to walk around the antique stores reading old magazines, and the way they wrote them was more positive and aimed at families, where today we read more negative trash and how to be negative in each others lives.  We only live by what is put in front of us every day, and we choose to live this way.

If you don't want someone to commit suicide than start looking at what you are doing to help them get there. They believe and feel the way they do for a reason, and it is so serious, because they want to end their life because they had enough and can't take it anymore.

I think some times God has had enough of all these families being destroyed and marriages broken up because no one wants to admit they have a problem or play a part in it. Take responsibility for what you do in peoples lives.  Save a life instead of killing them with your words, and actions towards them.  Think about what you are saying before you say it. Think before you act out in rage or anger. Think about what you are doing when you violate someone sexually, or you violate them bey hitting them, or throwing things at them, or throwing them across the room.  If you have an anger problem or any kind of problem than face it and understand why you do it.  Get the help and change your own actions and behaviors instead of making someone else your victim, and killing them because someone else did the same to you. There are no excuses for it, and you can make up as many as you like, and you can try to justify it, but in the end you still have to face yourself and you still have to look at what you have created.

Suicide is not the answer, and eventually someone will be placed in your life to help you through the storms, and when they do you can know that God has heard your voice, and even thought it doesn't feel like it, or seem like it, and it doesn't look like it, it is there happening behind the scenes, and I just ask you to hold on and fight for your life till some one gets there. You are worth fighting for, and maybe someone never told you that you were loved, but God loves you more than you could ever imagine. Things will change and get better eventually. Life gets better as long as you breathe.