What makes a Long Distance Relationship Work Online

There are many advantages and disadvantages of online dating. We enter the cyber world looking for another opportunity to meet the right woman or man to share our lives with. Fortunately there are various sites and various ways to meet individuals.

Long Distance Relationships are not for everyone and most of us meet someone online whether we are on a dating site, social network, or cyber game. What makes it or breaks it is very simple. What are you exactly looking for? Are you looking for sex? Are you looking for lust? Are you looking for love? There are many reasons why you are on the Internet and talking to a man or woman you are interested in. So you really have to ask you why this person should enter your life.

For some it is just a funny experiment and they tend to play mind games with the opposite sex. Some even just want to know how many woman and men they can get on a list, and get sex from. Some of them are serious about finding a partner and getting married. Others are looking for someone just to talk to and have as a companion but don't necessarily want to meet and have a relationship with. So what is it that you are looking for, and what is it that you want from the opposite sex? What is your motives and is it harmless or harmful to them and yourself by getting involved?

For those that are serious you can have a successful relationship long term if you choose to be open and honest with your partner. It takes time to get to know a person and your first main concern would be your safety. You don't know this person and giving out personal information out to soon would endanger your life if it's not the right person to get involved with. You don't know who is on the other end or what they are about?

If someone is talking about sex all the time, and usually starts with in the first 15 minutes of your conversation or even the first few weeks of your relationship you can guarantee that it's all about sex, and what they can get out of it. Not what you can share with the other person. Sex is the number one reason why people are online sites, to get self gratification and they don't care who you are, or how they get it. They will tell you that they love you, promise you the world, manipulate you, and try to persuade you into having sex online, or cam. That would be a big no no, in the sense that if you break up with them at a later date, you agree to take off your clothes, and participate, your snap shot could be on any blog, or video recording and plastered all over the web. It can affect your entire life, your job, your family, your education.

Always talk to them on voice to make sure that it is indeed the appropriate sex. Sometimes people like to play games and say they are male or female and totally be the opposite. Some times they put a pic on their profile that is not there's. If they won't get on voice to talk to you they are probably hiding something. I would also ask them to get on cam at least twice to verify that they are who they say they are. If they won't do that I would assume the picture in the profile isn't probably them.

If they want you to send money, they really are a loser, and probably looking to take advantage of you and help you go into debt by taking all your money. Some of these particular scams come from Nigeria or Africa. Not all of them do come from that area of the globe but they do play a big part in scams. They will put other peoples pictures on their profiles.

So after you have talked to this person for few weeks you get an idea what they are about generally speaking with whether they are polite, rude, all about sex, or what their motives are. Although we can't be totally be accurate, give it some more time, and learn as much information as you can from this person by asking questions about their life. If they have a friend online that you know that lives by them, ask them questions too, and see if it matches up with what they told you.

Often there are couples that are in a hurry to meet right away. I would suggest waiting 6 months to a year before you meet them in person. Why? Because you don't know who they are, or what they are about, and the more time you give yourself to learn about them, you will come to a conclusion whether this person really is someone you want to meet.

If your going to meet them in person than meet them in a public place, and see how you feel about them in the moment. If you don't feel safe walk away. This might upset them, but your safety is more important than pleasing a person you don't know. I would recommend having them stay in a hotel separate from you unless you have talked to this person for over a year or more and have a good sense and understanding of who they are. If it is appropriate to invite them in your home and it feels safe to, than do so, but always be careful about this situation.

If your dating online think about what kind of character they have, what kind of morals and values? How do they talk about their family, and friends? Is it negative or positive. Do they get angry very easily? Do they talk about drugs and alcohol? Do they talk about Pornography? Think about what they are talking about and how they handle situations in the background if they leave their voice on what is going on.

Now that you know this person and you feel in love and comfortable with each other it is imperative to keep your relationship strong.

• Send emails every day, or talk on voice every day for an hour.
• Send e-cards expressing your feelings and thoughts for them.
• Be creative: make videos with your pics with music, write poems, write songs.
• Send love letters by snail mail and surprise them.
• Share your life stories with one another from beginning to end.
• Be honest all the time.
• Be open minded
• Send You tube songs to them that remind you of them
• Find any way to express your love for them on a daily basis.

Long distance relationships can be very long, some times tiring as you wait to be together. It can be very hard on you both because you can not go out on dates together, or see each other, or kiss. In these moments find things you can interact together with like Second Life, or other cyber games, or any type of game over the net.

Share your interests and hobbies, share articles, books, music, anything that interests you both. Have conversations on different topics and hear each others views and perceptions.

Understand that if you enter an online relationship you have to have patience, patience, and more patience, because it can take up to 1 year to many years before you can be together depending on where your geographical location is and the circumstances surrounding your life like family, and finances.

It is very difficult to get up and move away from ones family, and you really have to weigh everything and understand if this is for you. But you should also consider this before you get involved with the person the begin with. Is it something you are capable of choosing, and risking to do, move and get a new job. Or are you expecting them too? You really both have to decide together what the plan is?

Long distance relationships are challenging, and fortunately you don't know what your partner is up too. This is why honesty is important and you should set up the expectations of the relationship. Is it ok to date other people, or just you personally? You have to be able to trust each other, and set goals and boundaries together.

If you want to move in together I wouldn't recommend it till you have been together over a year, because you don't know what they are about, and moving in with them, and some times out of state, or another country you can set yourself up for disaster without making sure that you are giving it time to decide whether it is appropriate for both you.

Long distance relationship can be very healthy and successful. They can also help you build a strong foundation in a relationship before you decide to move in together to fast, or make a life long commitment. You have the opportunity that many people don't do off line is learning about your partner, because you are not physically together, and you can actually have spiritual love with them, instead of physical love, and lust.

Praying is a another good source to know God is directing your relationship and if it's not supposed to happen. It won't happen. Let him write your lives together, and take the time that is needed to build a strong foundation.

All rights reserved Hattiemattiemae Mar 2011