The Spiritual Warrior Within Me!

One night when I was listening to a song called, "Let's Roll", I reflected on the story of 911, and the story of Todd Beamer of Flight 93. I understood something about Todd Beamer, he was a hero, and he stood up for what he believed in with out hesitation. In his situation he knew what was going on around him. He knew what it would cost him to make the move he needed too. He made his phone call, and talked to the person he needed to, to give his wife the message that he loved her. He contemplated his actions, and he thought for the moment what he had to do to prevent more damage in America than what had already happen with the other flights! He had to be brave and courageous and take the action to stop the terrorist from succeeding. He knew the consequences, and he didn't hesitate to do what was right.

He didn't worry about what other people thought, or worry about whether other people would agree with his choice, he knew it was the right thing to do in the moment. I learned from Todd Beamer's story that some times in life we might be asked to do the same in various situations. They might not be as dangerous, but still we have an opportunity every day to do what is right where ever we are, no matter the situation we are in.

Sometimes we do have to take risks depending on what job we have, or profession. I have always been taught to respect my country and the flag. I have always been a patriot and was brought up by military men. My grandfather being in the Army in WWII, and my father in Vietnam. My great Uncle also served as well and missing in action till this very day in the Korean War. Generations of military men in my family, I learned to be a warrior spiritually.

When I was 18 I remember talking to a Airforce officer because I wanted to be a Airforce pilot. Unfortunately at that time I was told that women were not allowed to fight in combat in the front lines. I never got to fly, but always loved the f-16's and watched them spin in the air. I was a war baby from the start, and war affected my families life in different generations in different ways.

I shouldn't even be here knowing that my grandfather was in Belgium and shot in the knee. He crawled across the street in gun fire not knowing if he would survive. My father was in the jungles of Vietnam, and I was not conceived till he came back. My birth in a sense is a miracle just from them two circumstances.

I also learned about relationship wars as my parents divorced individually more than enough times for me. I learned about wars between adults as I listened to them fight and argue, and take things out on each other and me out of anger and rage.

Now that I look back, I learned to be a spiritual warrior because of all those wars in life whether it was battles in other countries, relationships with families, or friends. I learned from observing so much war among cultures, nations, and governments, religions, and churches just by observing them in my own life growing up, and when I entered a virtual world on the Internet, along with Face book, My Yearbook, and My Space.

I even did the same in relationships most of my life, because that is what I was taught, like everyone in the world I am surrounded by others that choose to use vulgar language, fight physically, and verbally, emotionally abusing others for pure entertainment or insulting another human being, or just doing it unintentionally with one another. Depending on their cirucmstances and back grounds.

We live in a violent world every day, and so I had to learn to be a spiritual warrior in this world, I had to learn to make my mind strong, and protect myself from letting someone to break me down emotionally, no matter what they said or did. I had to learn to stand up for myself. I had to learn to do what was right, and break the behaviors and patterns I was taught growing up from so many influences. Of course none of these people probably even realise the hostility or violence they demonstrate any more than I did when I was married, or in other relationships before that. We seldom realise how we act because we don't know what we look like from outside of ourselves. We only know if someone tells us, but than we also have to learn to listen to them ourselves as other people explain how we appear to them.

Most of the time we are the mirror image of the other person that we are judging or accusing of doing wrong. It's easier to be mad at them, and take out our anger on them, instead of realising we do the same things ourselves.

I have even been at war with myself, as well as everyone else in the world. Often we wrestle with ourselves if we are doing the right thing in the moment. We can experience war when someone else attacks us because we walk away and don't want to be manipulated or controlled by them. We can experience war when we expected someone to be controlled or manipulated by ourselves. We experience war when we don't set boundaries and let others hurt us emotionally, spiritually, or physically.

Often we can be harder on ourselves more than other people are on us. We can beat ourselves up so severely because we have made a mistake or failed somehow. When people criticize us or judge us we even become more volatile towards them and ourselves.

Eventually as a spiritual warrior you have to learn when to speak, when to be quiet, and when to let go and move on with your life. You have to learn when to agree to disagree with someone else instead of standing there arguing with them, or trying to change them.

I've had people be at war with me for staying true to myself and not giving into them. They will sit their arguing why you don't let them persuade you into going along with the actions they want you too. They may even question why you are doing the right thing. Even if you are doing the right thing because it is appropriate and would be harmful any other way, they still ask you why. They think by persuading you some more, you will give in, but than you stick to your principles, and they give up.

As a spiritual warrior I have had people walk away, because I stood for something, and they couldn't. Although I liked them as a person, I let them go, because I could not make them feel good about themselves, or change what they felt about the world or themselves. They were at war with themselves. I didn't have to say anything or do anything negative, but they saw what they wanted for themselves, but couldn't find the courage and strength to do it themselves. Although they can, they just didn't have it in the moment.

I've had someone start a war with me in anger because I didn't want a relationship with them and was in one already, but i loved my partner and walked away. At moments like this I do lose it sometimes, because my principles and values are important to me, and it gets frustrating when someone doesn't respect your wishes or freedom to choose what is right for you and what his harmless for you. Although I am imperfect like most of humanity I have to continuously learn as any one else to fight my spiritual battles in a positive way and not a negative one. The more I work at this the more I unfold out of being that war baby, and transform into a peace maker, and walk away from more and more wars.

I encourage others to as well to start fighting for unconditional love in the world instead of conditional love that exists all of the world. Like Todd Beamer said, "Let's Roll!" Let's show the world what is right through our actions and behaviors towards others. Although this is a constant battle for the rest of our lives, at least work on it every day in your own lives towards those that we encounter around us. Be spiritual warriors fighting for peace and love in the world, and not hate and anger in everything you do. You may not do it perfectly but at least try your best in the moment. One person can change the world! It starts with you! Have the courage and bravery to do what is right no matter who you are or where you are in the moment.