Protecting Your Relationship

Spending time on various social network sites for the last three years the one thing I have noticed is how many people are searching for love in all the wrong places.

I've seen so many people having emotional, and spiritual affairs with people while their girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, or husbands are in the next room, at work, or not home.

Some of these marriages and relationships actually agree with this, and some of them are hidden and left with broken hearts at some point in time.

Being a woman of virtue I understand the devastating affects this has on relationships.
Love can not be found in any of those people.
The only place I could ever find love was in God, and within myself.

The best thing people can do is protect their relationship from temptation. When you set yourself in front of one person, or many persons of the opposite sex you are allowing yourself to be tempted no matter who they are or what they are telling you.

People will tell you what you want to hear, to get what they want for their own self gratification.

They will have the whole 9 yards laid out and romance you, promise you they will love you forever, even study you to figure out what motivates you. They will use it against you, just to use you and abuse you.

First of all sex is not love. If a man keeps bringing up sex within the first 15 minutes of your conversation that can give you a big clue they are only after one thing. Pass on the man because he has nothing to give you but heartache.

Other men feel they can buy you the world and coerce you into his world. Materialism is not love and you may have all kinds of nice clothes, jewelry, and gifts, but your heart will still be broken as soon as he gets bored with you.

Really we need to look at peoples character and actions towards us when we meet the opposite sex. If they know you are involved with someone else and insist on hitting on you than you have to realise they do not respect you, your relationship, or themselves.

If someone loved you, they would understand that intruding in on your relationship would harm you more than do any good in it.

If you are getting involved with someone it means you are not facing your fears, or emotions. You are no facing the fact that you do not love yourself, or that person if you are choosing to hurt either yourself or your partner.

Partners need to communicate with each other and be very open about how they feel, not hiding anything from each other. Even if you fear what they might say back, or do, you still should be big enough to face your fears, and take responsibility for what happens in your relationship.

If you are not communicating your needs you are not giving your partner the chance to meet your needs and make things right. If you are living like room mates you are choosing this by your own free will and creating it. It doesn't have to be that way.

Your partner probably is no different than you and afraid to say what they really want to say.
They probably don't think you want to listen to them or know who they are.

Most of the time relationships don't start on a good foundation. They let sex and physical pleasure take over the relationship before it even gets a chance to form a strong foundation.

Fortunately the only way I learned this was dating over the Internet. I had time to get to know a person over three years and discuss my beliefs, my ideas, my values, and morals with someone.

In marriage counseling before I had gotten married in my first marriage the only problem was was I was already living with my partner. I had not built a strong foundation or relationship with him. We were playing house before we made a commitment.

We did not understand each other or know each other well, and even if you do take marriage counseling unless two people really want to be honest about themselves the truth will never come out.

Before you get married you should be able to face yourself and really understand who you are as a person, and what you need in a relationship.

If your looking for the answers in another person you will never find them there. That other person can not fill you up or meet all your needs.

One thing I had to learn is what God expected from me as a woman, and understand my own inner beauty, value, and worth. That is the only place I could find that unconditional love was in my relationship with God himself. When I was in love with God I could understand what to look for in a partner.

It was an amazing thing because when I did find the right man his character, values, and morals stood out in his actions. Not words.

When you have God to measure that man up to, you understand that your father in heaven has only the best for you.

There are more unhealthy people for you in this world than healthy ones, and basically you have to understand the difference between a partner that will respect you and love you for who you are, and one that doesn't know how to love himself or you.

Anyone can hand you a bunch of gifts, roses, and pretty clothes. But only certain men that stand up for something more than themselves will act out there part in your life.

I've watched more men and women fight and tear each other apart and have affairs in this world than people actually, loving each other the right way, and learning that they have control over the situation and can turn it around into a positive one.

The power of words is so extreme and hurtful, and you can tear your partner up or down, and if you have a revengeful heart, all you can do is create a disaster for yourself and that other person.

When emotions are high it's hard to hold your tongue, if you don't know how to create it in positive ways, but this is where the challenge is, learning how to relate to others better.

Watching what you say and do in another persons life makes all the difference. When you start paying attention to what your doing, than your partner will probably follow.

Everyone deserves to be loved, and trying to change some one really never works. The only person you can really change is yourself.

The best books I ever read was Stormie Omartian's Power Of a Praying Wife, and The Power or Prayer to Change your Marriage. These two books really opened my eyes. Really helped me understand what a major part I played in creating my relationships.

I can tell you I read it through tears, and thought I lost someone I loved, but through every feeling, and emotion, i trudged through the pages over and over again. I understood there were so many things I was doing wrong in the relationship.

The hardest thing is admitting where you are wrong, and seeing the errors in your ways. I had also watched the Fireproof Your Marriage Movie various times, and the Love Dare Books.

All these held the keys to understand I had more to do in a relationship than blame my partner, and hold him responsible for my actions and behaviors.

It was my own responsibility to create what kind of relationship I wanted to have. No one else's, and God willing I had a partner that cared enough to do the same.

Most partners don't want to admit their part, and so they ignore the responsibility they have in what they create with you. It's easier to let go, and find someone else to start a relationship with.

The only problem with this is, is that you will end up with the same lessons and problems. So you can keep switching partners, or take a stand and face your fears, failures, and mistakes and start fighting for it, or simply keep doing what your doing over and over again with the same results.

If your always doing things the same way, you really never get anywhere, and if you learn new ways to relate than maybe you can get to a better place, but you will never know till you at least try it.

We get our thoughts on a one way track, and never slide to a new one, because we are afraid of change, and fear what will happen.

Only change is good and can bring good things your way. What you focus on usually ends up being the result in your life.

You can even blame God for your life, but God can go only send the messenger, and the rest of it is your choice to make what you do with that message.

There are endless self awareness books out there that can teach you new answers, but again that would be you choosing to do something and doing the work to build a stronger foundation in your relationships.

God can only help you, if you make an effort, and usually if you make an effort and ask for help, there are always solutions and answers.

The best thing you can do is protect your relationship with prayer, and build a strong foundation. Believe in your partner they can become the best person they were meant to be in God's eyes. Look at them through the eyes of God instead of your own. Understand that they are valuable and worthy of your respect and love.