Moving on from the Past

Leaving the past behind is very difficult for some people to do, because first they must face it, and heal from it. Fortunately we do some times get stuck in the past, and dwell on mistakes and failures, but at the same time we must face the memories and the pain of what we've lived through to move on.

Most people bury their past under a rug, pretending it is no longer there. It piles up like dirty laundry and gets so high as we keep walking through life never looking back. We suppress our emotions, or feelings, and memories and expect life to get better without dealing with the issues that we must face on a daily basis.

Without looking at the past and reflecting on the lessons we have learned we don't learn the lessons very well. We keep entering relationships and keep making the same mistakes because we never took the time to really look at what we were doing wrong in the first place. We end up doing the same things the same way repeatedly and never take a look at what we can do to change the outcome from occurring in our lives once more.

People may say you are dwelling on the past, or crying over spilt milk, but it was a valid part of our lives, and a valid feeling we are feeling in the moment. We are usually grieving over a part of our lives that we have lost, and everyone heals in a different way, and a different method. If we tell people they are wrong to feel what they feel, than they shove their feelings even more into a darker place and put on a mask just to please you, so you can hear what you want them to say.

Moving on takes courage and patience, understanding who they are and that it is ok to be right where they are in the moment. No one should have the right to tell us how long it takes for us to achieve a goal, or learn a lesson, or how long it takes to be a success. We are all at a different pace and learn differently through our own techniques and senses.

We should never compare ourselves to another person, or think they are more successful because they have achieved something that we haven't. We each do have a purpose, and we should always trust that God has us right where we are supposed to be in the moment serving who he desires us to serve. We may not even know it, but every person that walks by us, does so for a reason, and every trial and tribulation we face has it's own divine plan in our lives.

People may say you are walking down the wrong path, or you're going down the wrong road, but we are all eternally lead by the light of God. There are no mistakes in our lives, and even when we look back to the past in our memories and thoughts they can bring us back to a place that we once lived and learned valuable lessons in our lives to survive today in this moment.

We can live our lives for such a long time forgetting the wonder of being a child that dances and plays, that feels life with out caring what the world has to say about us, or letting fear get in the way. When we were small we didn't care, we just acted out with enthusiasm, never afraid to sing, dance, or say what was on our mind. We felt life with Joy and Happiness because we had no memories to hold us back.

Reflecting on our past can help us remember who we are and who we can become today. Sometime ago we gave up all the things we liked to do, because some one criticized us for doing it, or it didn't like what we were doing. We gave up ourselves because we wanted to please other people to fit in and be accepted. We want to be loved so we gave up our dreams to meet them where they were at. We almost live our lives for everyone else.

Often we have failed because we got caught up in being who we thought everyone else wanted us to be, taking their ideas, advice, suggestions and trusting that they had all the right answers, but to find out their answers weren't right for us. We have so many people telling us what the best thing to do is, and when did we really ever make those choices for ourselves. Did everyone always give us the choice to live our lives, or did they continuously add their point of view to persuade us into what they thought was best for us, and we silently agreed with hostility and anger inside, because that wasn't really what we wanted to do.

We didn't always learn to set healthy boundaries with people, and let them walk all over us, while our voices stayed silent, and we pretended to be happy, because of course people expected us to be happy with their choices. We didn't always learn to make choices, because people made choices for us. So than some how we made a lot of mistakes because we learned unhealthy ways of dealing with our emotions and feelings, and not communicating our true needs and wishes. We went along with things to keep the peace, and not rock the boat.

Some of us learned this in co-dependent relationships, and alcoholic homes. We never had the opportunity to voice our opinion because if we did, we were threatened or harmed for speaking up. We learned to live in fear because if you upset the person we would get hurt in the end. Most of us carried this into our relationships as we grew older, as well as our achievements and successes because who ever we related with, we were still feeling that our voice wasn't important, or wouldn't be heard, or valuable. We kept silent, until someone told us we had permission to love ourselves and set those boundaries.

The past becomes overwhelming because we came from dysfunctional homes, and we're taught to relate to others in life in dysfunctional ways, with more dysfunctional friends and family members telling us how to live our lives.

Whether we face the past or present we have to always look back to see where we have been to change the patterns and behaviors of today. We have to correct the mistakes and move on to make better ones. Although most people do not like looking at there past, or where all that dysfunction comes from it is really the only thing that can heal us, and help us to move on.

We must make peace with the past, to live peacefully today, and heal so it no longer comes back to harm us or cause us to fall once more. Everything we have learned originated some where in the past, and every failure led to the next failure, and so if we never look backward how can we go forward.

We are filled with so much garbage from the past we have our own garbage dump in our souls from past hurts, relationships, teachers, parents, and memories. We carry this garbage dump around with us where ever we go. All the garbage we have collected must be dumped somewhere. Garbage that accumulates also turns into a moldy sludge of slimy gunk in our souls, and we become that in our minds and spirits. We need to learn to clean it out, and get rid of it. Everything that goes in, also must come out, or it turns into hate, anger, bitterness, pain, and self destruction.

We wonder why teenagers are cutting themselves, people are attempting suicide, and then we tell them that they are crying over spilt milk. Half the time we don't even know what kind of garbage people are carrying around. We assume we know everything about a person and we don't know anything really.

We cannot read peoples minds, or been everywhere they've walked in life. We judge them for being in the place they are, and really haven't even scratched the surface of who they are. We get caught up in our one dimensional thinking and limited way of looking at the world. Some how we have to understand that we have to personally look at things from many different angles. One perception is never enough, and the past must be put in order before anyone can truly heal and move on to be a productive citizen in our world.